bestandworstofgermany

how to survive in Germany, Deutschland without cultural barriers, best and worst of Germany

The BEST joke about German lifestyle ever!!!

Hier Wird Deutsch Gesprochen

On a cheerier note, I am happy to report that - after months of
preparation - I have finally been able to open my bed and breakfast in
San Diego, California. It is exclusively for German guests, because
after living in Germany for more than 20 years, I completely
understand the German mentality of wanting to feel at home, even on
vacation.
Therefore I have named my B&B "Hier Wird Deutsch Gesprochen".

I have taken all the best of German living and incorporated it into
the rules and regulations. To greet the guests, I have hung a large
poster, so they will feel completely at home. It looks like this:

House Rules (Hausordnung):
The hours between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. are Ruhezeiten*!
Mittagsruhe (afternoon quiet time) is between 1 and 3 p.m.
Sonn- und Feiertagen ist ganztägig Ruhezeit! (Sundays and holidays are
completely quiet times!)
Breakfast will be served between 6:31 and 6:44 a.m. Those not at the
table during those times will not be served
Dinner is between 8:01 and 8:22 p.m. (a little more relaxed at dinner)
Shower times are limited to 4 minutes - after this time, hot water
will not be available
Turn heaters off when leaving your room
No food or drinks allowed in rooms
Windows should be open at night to ensure proper ventilation - any
mildew damage will be charged to your credit card
To ensure space at the pool, leave a towel on the pool chairs at 6
a.m. or in the dark of the night

*Ruhezeit means no noise! No showering, no washing clothes or dishes,
no vacuuming, no hair drying, no crying or laughing

If you would like to reserve space at my B&B, just drop me a line. I
will send you a registration form which you should fill out in
triplicate and have signed by the local police to ensure you are not a
criminal. Then send one copy to the San Diego chamber of commerce, one
copy to me at a PO Box so that you do not have my address until I have
your deposit, and one to your nearest relatives in case anything
should happen to you when you are in San Diego, to ensure that your
belongings are safely returned. After this I will consider your
application with my lawyer. If all is OK, I will ask you to deposit
the full amount of boarding into my bank in California. After this I
will send you a full contract (only 23 pages) listing your
obligations.

Hope to see you soon!

(anonymous author from the internet)

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This entry was posted on February 28, 2013 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .
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