how to survive in Germany, Deutschland without cultural barriers, best and worst of Germany

Do not joke when in Germany!

Eigene_Meinung_-_Politisch_korrektI have already wrote that you should not smile when you are in Germany. It just hit me it is actually even worse.

In Germany you are not only not allowed to smile. You can not even joke. If you joke you will get a fine.

And the fine will be much worse of what you think. You think of 1000 euros? 5000 euros?

You wish.


Everybody will immediately start hating you. And will have trouble to hide it. Even if they will do their best as Germans are good at.

I was always wondering when I was in the USA about how plastic life becomes when everybody is so endless politically correct. It never came to my mind I would find a very similar political correctness in Europe.

You can not joke about Jewish (this topic is the same like touching a burned skin with acid), no jokes about English, no joking about Polish, no way to mention quality of work or tidiness of people from India, you can’t even joke of Americans even it is so clear everybody hate them here!

But they build museums sponsored by state where huge part of exibition is dedicated how important Americans were in German history.

Actually, little who knows but Lithuanians were also important in German history. And no, I am not talking about the Grünwald fight. About which Lithuanians are so proud and it is not even mentioned in the lessons of history in the schools in Germany. I am talking about post war period when there was nothing to eat in the Eastern part of Germany and parents were making their kids of 7 – 10 years old or even younger to run to Western Lithuania because there was bread. They are so called kids of wolves. Most of them made their lives as Lithuanians. Cause people who brought them up were Lithuanians.

Back to my topic, you can’t even laugh at Americans speaking German. Not even a table. Because Germans are so sure that somehow a table might get offended. Is that some residue of some kind of ancient druidism or paganism?


9 comments on “Do not joke when in Germany!

  1. gillandrews
    October 17, 2013

    I’ll just repost what I already said on G+, for non-G+ folks to participate in the discussion as well:

    I had a slightly different (or should I say, extended) experience. Germans indeed never make jokes about other nationalities or – even bigger “sin” – races. My theory is that it has to do with their history of WWI. The guilt still sits pretty deep, although so many generations have came and went.

    BUT they do make these kind of jokes when they think no foreigners are around. I happened to overhear it two times. One time they didn’t see me still working there. Another time the guy didn’t recognize I was a foreigner.

    I wonder what else is going on there where “no foreigner’s watching” 🙂 

  2. Skirmantas
    October 18, 2013

    That’s where all the politcorrectness come from!

    I also heard, that Germans are the first, who implemented extremelly strict copyright laws on Youtube or other places of Internet…

    I do not like that at all…

    Are you allowed to write this blog and tell everybody, that you cannot make jokes in Germany? 😀

  3. Vaida
    October 18, 2013

    Absoliuti nesąmonė. Vokiečiai ir juokiasi, ir juokauja, ir šypsosi, ir kitataučius linksmai apšneka, ką jie kitaip daro ir pan.. Ir kartais riba tarp šiaip taiklių pastebėjimų ir korektiškumo yra tikrai plona, tačiau, aišku, ji visgi yra. Patyčios, piktdžiuga normalių žmonių tarpe yra nepriimtini ir nereikia tuo stebėtis. Beje, nuomonę apie asmenį jie susidaro labai greitai ir nėra linkę jos keisti apskritai, kaip ir veidmainiauti, jog viskas ok. Nepatikai, vadinasi ir nebepatiksi.

  4. bestandworstofgermany
    October 18, 2013

    We can only imagine. And it all depends on the level of wildeness of our imagination hahahahahaha

    Actually I am very OK when people tell straight what they think. Like our neighbours advising not to take the places with a lot of English people cause when they drink they make so much noice! Which is true so why to pretend it is not this way???

    I guess I was grown in a less poticially correct environment hahahahahaha

  5. bestandworstofgermany
    October 18, 2013

    Skirmantas, I am waiting for police to knock on my door at any moment 😉 😀

    • Skirmantas
      October 18, 2013

      – Knock-knock!
      – Who’s there?
      – German police!

      End of joke. 😀

  6. Skirmantas
    October 29, 2013

    I’ve had a chance to hear this joke today:

    And then remembered this blog and posted this comment.

  7. NoneOfYourBusiness
    November 18, 2013

    I think you are generalizing way too much and being a bit too harsh, towards several cultures actually. Try to open your mind a little bit and perhaps you’ll stop offending so many cultures all at once.

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This entry was posted on October 17, 2013 by in Character, Funny, Learning German and tagged , , , .
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