how to survive in Germany, Deutschland without cultural barriers, best and worst of Germany
Yesterday I was in the seminar that seriously triggered this question in me again and I think it is time for me to talk about it.
The seminar was about rejection. How people get rejected by other people, what emotions they experience, how they feel afterwords, how they are reacting to rejection, responding and coping. It was very interesting as it was the first time when I was introduced to a systematic approach towards rejection.
Doing the seminar we got a few practical tasks some of which included people sharing their own experienced of being rejected. I have to say stories people told were not easy ones as you would expect in this situation. It made me think that people were sharing their real experiences and not just executing the task for the sake of it. As I am highly interested in psychology I know that we as mammals, are extremely sensitive to peer rejection, neglect and abandonment. Having the abandonment issue as a childhood wound is probably the worst possible heritage and it is hardly ever fully treatable, it is just manageable given the person is working on it.
Rejection by peers, such like bullying in school can even end in suicide. That strong people feel being rejected by the group they belong to.
People were saying that it was difficult to talk about their rejection experiences but they remained showing no emotion. Almost at all. Their faces were moving but emotions were not coming out. It made me wonder big time where do they store their emotions or how do they learn to hide their emotions so well?
Yes I have seen German people cry and shout and slam the doors. But still when they talk about something so highly emotional they kind of talk more of the facts rather than being in touch with their emotions.
I am sure of my observation as it is not the first time I notice that. It was just so strange for me that I almost could not believe my observations. But it is how it is, no matter how strange that seems to me.
Just to give you another example that it is not one time event, one time very late at night I encountered a TV show, something between talk show and documentary. Where two middle aged ladies who were discussing sex. Not genders, sex as an act. I remember watching it for half an hour stunned at their faces and their movements to see that they were talking about such a highly emotional experience with not even a smallest drop of emotion on their faces! They were in grey hair, dressed in grey, the studio was white maybe, I do not remember but definitelly colorless, with cold faces they were discussing a thing of probably the highest possible emotion on earth!
Somehow it felt dehumanized.
For a comparison, American girl speaking of her experiences.